E pluribus whatever

E pluribus whatever

News Item: Democratic Convention offers separate sessions for a Black Caucus, a Women’s Caucus, a Hispanic Caucus, a Native American Caucus, an Asian American and Pacific Islanders Caucus, a Faith Caucus, an LGBT Caucus … .
The theme of the convention: “Americans Coming Together.”

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The British House of Lords has instructed staff members “to avoid banter” because bantering might result in something being said that someone might find offensive at some point.

News Item: Democrats proclaim ban on corporate donations to national convention.
News Item: Democrats create New American City Inc. to accept corporate donations to “defray administrative expenses incurred by the host committee organizations” of the convention.
The fundraising account is supervised by Bank of America.
As are any number of Democrats as time goes on, evidently.

QT Two Moments to Remember from Four Days of Republican Convention Update:
+ The mention of a Smith & Wesson .357 magnum resulted in an eruption of cheers.
+ Mitt Romney’s appeal to “give a helping hand to those in need” resulted in. . . silence.

QT Early Warning System:
The first presidential debate will occur on the third day of National Spinning and Weaving Week.

News Headline: “Universe will eventually fade away.”
Cheer up. The universe isn’t everything.

A nine-year-old boy in Robbins, N.C., upon recovering from a coma after a school bus knocked him 20 feet down a road:
“God saved me.”
And maybe He did.
Well. After letting the boy be knocked 20 feet down a road.

QT News You Can Use:
Research has shown that it takes 36 percent of Americans a half day back at work to be productive after the Labor Day weekend.
QT had a point it was going to make.
Guess its mind wandered.

News Item: ”… the renovation of this historic building and performing arts space… ."
When did theaters become performing arts spaces, and when can we have theaters back?
And M.S., a San Diego, Calif., reader, wants to know, regarding recent political speeches in the vicinity of a hurricane, when did lies become “factual inaccuracies,” and when can we have lies back?
And… .

News Headline: “U.S. military fights fat with healthy vending machines.”
Does this mean overweight soldiers are confined to quarters?

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ There are 34 fewer strip clubs in Charlotte, N.C., than in Tampa, Fla.
+ And who said the Democrats aren’t prepared to make sacrifices?

News Headline: “Obama says ‘I do care… Romney doesn’t.’ “
Does too.
Does not.
So at least we’ve established a dialogue.

News Item: ”… went to the fastball almost exclusively, and 20 of 42 fastballs went for balls. Two were swung on and missed, two were fouled off and the other 18 were put in play. That’s 38 out of 42 outcomes that were suboptimal… . .”
Any pitcher with suboptimal outcomes should be yanked for a reliever to put out the rapid oxidation.

QT Final Summer Travel Advisory:
Bill Scott, an East Northport, N.Y., reader, notes that if next summer you visit Carcross, Yukon, to see the “world’s smallest desert” (1 sq. mile) you will find this posted attraction:
“HISTORIC NOTE. At this site on July 14, 1967, nothing happened.”

News Headline: “Cow rescued from tree.”
There is probably an interesting story behind that.

From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 146 years ago the first Hawaiian daily newspaper was published, which, as we all know, was the first step in the conspiracy to invent Barack Obama’s natural-born citizenship 95 years later with a Hawaiian newspaper birth announcement leading directly to his fake birth certificate and then his election as president 47 years after that, which shows how insidious these Muslims are.
Yes, nurse. QT will take its medication now.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Quotations from the campaign trail:
+ President Obama: ”… for Michele and I… ."
+ Mitt Romney: ”… if you ask Ann and I… ."
Add Ivy League educations to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
And K.R., a Baltimore reader, wants you to know that “beg the question” does not mean to raise or invite a question, but to assume what hasn’t been proved.

Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.