Today is the first day of school for Chicago Public School students. Wow, what a day. What do they go with - the button-down brown shirt from Venture? Or the red t-shirt from the Yellowstone gift shop? And what socks? What socks do you wear for your first day??!! Aghghghgh?! I’m writing this too late for the kids to heed my advice, but I’ll do it anyway:

This is your year. Don’t mess it up. And remember this fresh feeling of excitement come November, when it all blends together.

B story: A dolphin died at the zoo. Gosh, news editors love the animal-at-the-zoo story. But will someone please write it less like an obit and more like a business story? I want to know how much it costs to purchase, house and care for a dolphin. Throw that in the story instead of always talking about how the zookeepers are devastated. Of course they are devastated. We get that. But a lot of people die every day and it doesn’t get the kind of coverage the newspapers and local broadcasts are giving.

C story: Right before Labor Day, Mayor Emanuel went on Chicago Tonight and ended his interview with a huge rant/monologue. Eric Zorn transcribed it. It’s a fascinating read. It starts as a rant answering the question of Alderman Burke’s bodyguards and turns into something else entirely. What that is, I’m not exactly sure.

D story: Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh will NOT attend President Obama’s speech Thursday night before a joint session of Congress. He refuses to be a “political pawn.” You know, just like how he refuses to pay child support. Sorry man, after that story you have lost ALL credibility. Fix that situation, then you can pull political stunts all you like. Am I right, y’all?

Weather: The city is so crisp today.

Sports: This is a big week for Chicago sports. Essentially, the Chicago Bears season has begun. They will do the Halas Hall practices and Jay Cutler press conferences and the Lovie Smith “We like our team” speech (which if played on repeat can serve as a overnight sleep aid). So even though everyone is waiting for the season to start on Sunday, it’s already begun. And when you see the “Brian Urlacher is speaking at a school” story tonight as the local news kicker, you’ll know why.

Also, love Brandon Meriweather. Great pick-up. Even if he sucks, he’s at least a name.

Hey, did you see Sexy Rexy is starting in Washington this year? Redskins fans, may I give you some advice? Don’t boo him. It is just too easy. And get used to this phrase every Wednesday from your head coach: “Rex is our quarterback.”

Oh yeah, the Colts cut Tommie Harris. Maybe he could clean houses for Adewale Ogunleye.

Oh yeah, and the White Sox EMBARRASSED their fans over the weekend letting the Detroit Tigers blow them out twice and make a miraculous 7 run comeback to sweep. It was familiar. Yeah, that’s right. It was the same thing that happens at this time every year. I’m getting very close to being a disgruntled fan. This is bogus. I would not have a problem if I saw a headline saying “Kenny Williams Fired” or “Ozzie Guillen Fired.” Let’s get some gamers in here.

Kicker: I heard this song this morning. It’s a jam. Remove the Jesus and the God references and just focus on the smiling part. That’s what I do.