News Headline: “After soda ban proposal, NYC officials set sights on popcorn and milk shakes.”
So here is where we are.
The right wing wants to peek into our bedrooms.
The left wing wants to peek into our kitchens.
Feel free to hide in your basements until further notice.
News Item: A Mitt Romney family horse, Rafalca, to compete this weekend for a place on the U.S. dressage team at the London Olympics.
Among the tests for the horse:
+ Full Pass. The horse faces forward but moves slowly sideways.
+ Pirouette. The horse, as it walks forward, suddenly turns 180 degrees.
In other news, Mitt Romney continued his full pass on the birther issue and managed another pirouette on the economy.
News Headline: “Peed dribbles past Kreep in closely watched judicial race.”
QT can’t possibly apologize enough in behalf of the nation’s headline writers.
More absentee ballots are still to be counted in the San Diego, Calif., judgeship race between prosecutor Garland Peed and birther Republican attorney Gary Kreep.
Wait. This just in.
Kreep has just pulled ahead by 824 votes in a close count.
So it is Kreep back and forth.
And Peed could still go either way.
News Headline: “Report: Poor working conditions continue at Apple’s China suppliers.”
News Headline: “China arrests workers at Apple factory after rampage over ‘sweatshop’ working conditions.”
Will the Chinese workers please be quiet while we try to enjoy our cool, hip Apple products?
G.D., a Rio Rancho, N.M. reader, writes:
“If there are about 10,000 athletes competing at the London Olympics and there are 150,000 condoms distributed, that’s 15 condoms per athlete. Just trying to do the math, that’s all.”
Sydney (2000): 100,000 condoms.
Athens (2004): 130,000 condoms.
Beijing (2008): 100,000 condoms.
So we are witnessing a modern Olympic record.
News Headline: ” ‘Teacher of the Year’ gets axed due to budget.”
The successes keep piling up in the Tea Party effort to make government smaller.
News Headline: “Some cry ‘coup’ as Egypt’s highest court annuls parliament, military extends power.”
We forgot climate change.
The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
An elementary school in Mount Martha, Australia, has banned the game of tag because there is the risk of injury when children run around.
News Item: ”… And while many speculate that the Obama campaign is liking all this birther talk, Trump insisted, ‘I actually semi-know for a fact that they hate this’… ."
News Item: “ ‘I’ve been known as being a very smart guy for a long time,’ Trump told CNBC.”
QT has waited a couple of weeks. Still no new semi-knowledge from Donald Trump’s half-vast intellect.
QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Vizeum has won the marketing contract for Veev.
News Item: ”… are predicting the end of civilization as we know it… ."
Yes. But is there a downside?
News Item: ”… live under the religious tenants… ."
News Item: ”… follows the philosophical tenants of… ."
News Item: ”… uphold the ethical tenants of… ."
News Item: ”… the accepted social tenants of… ."
Doesn’t matter what kind of tenants they are–as long as they pay their rent on time.
But the social tenants do make a lot of noise on weekends.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A man in a courthouse holding cell in Louisville, Ky., quietly made his plan, waited for the moment a deputy sheriff opened the cell door, surprised the deputy, overpowered him and then fled down the hall and through the door to a court that was in session.
QT Summer Travel Advisory:
The Global Dry Toilet Association has invited tourists to “Peek into a Toilet Seat” at its annual conference August 22-25 in Tampere, Finland.
Today’s Birthdays: Magna Carta, 797; Ice Cube, 43.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
“Does anyone besides me care about distinguishing between ‘into’ and ‘in to’? “
QT has a magician friend who does.
He was walking down the street just the other day, in fact, when he turned into a drug store.
Oral contracts are always verbal, by the way, but verbal contracts aren’t always oral.
Write to QT at firstname.lastname@example.org
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.