It’s been a little over a year since Robert Feder wrote about how the famed “Pig Virus” was the program director at WGN radio. His column was swift and cutting, talking about Metheny’s track record and his line-up changes. Feder said:
“Everything that’s gone wrong at WGN-AM (720) in the past year can be summed up in two words: ‘Pig Virus.‘”
Last night, the Trib took action on Randy Michaels’ teammate by forcing him and host Jim Laski out the revolving doors at the Trib tower. This action caps a year-long narrative about the Trib management. It was a story-line.
No, it was a saga.
No, it was a script.
This is like a movie. It’s sort of like ‘The Untouchables.’ If Randy Michaels was the Al Capone, then that made Kevin Metheny the Frank Nitty. And we just watched him get thrown off the building. It’s the same story, minus the gangs and death.
When the dust settles, this will be a great made-for-TV movie. So instead of letting some Jerry Bruckheimer type producer ruin it, let’s write and produce it ourselves. I’m going to Hollywood, I’d like you to come with me. Here’s what I have so far:
Elevator pitch (I’ve added fictional moments to help with the story): A bunch of good ol’ boys take over a major
media company with nefarious power schemes. They are corrupt and going to destroy the company and defraud the shareholders (and maybe set off a nuclear bomb? Hollywood loves nuclear bomb plots). One independent blogger/rogue CIA agent notices, gets a tip, climbs the outside of the tower like a cat burglar and steals some files (and maybe finds a dead body?) He starts blogging about it. At first, nobody notices. But the blog starts to get bigger and bigger (montage of keyboards and clicks) and it grabs the attention of the mainstream media and the Pentagon. Then there is a big car chase on Wacker and we roll credits. Boom. Forty-million dollar budget, we’ll make $200 mil in gross. Pass the Cristal, please.
Cast (in order of appearance)
Randy Michaels - James Gandolfini
Kevin Metheny - Paul Giamatti (why not reprise role from “Private Parts”?)
Robert Feder - Philip Seymour Hoffman
Justin Kaufmann - Jesse Eisenberg (why not? I’m the editor, I should have a few funny lines for levity)
Justin’s wife Julie - Jessica Alba
Justin’s secretary - January Jones
Justin’s best friend - Gweneth Paltrow
FBI Agent - Justin Kaufmann (I can act)
I would pay to see this. But why pay for it when Robert Feder gave us the real story for free? It’s been one heck of a year-long story and will earn a place in Chicago media history. As Robert so eloquently wrote:
“If Kevin Metheny wasn’t the worst program director in the history of Chicago radio, I don’t know who was.”