DeRogatis finally got comment from Mayor Emanuel’s camp yesterday about the sweetheart tax exemption deal that Lollapalooza gets from the city. The piece is great and the summary is simple: Rahm will look into it next year. I didn’t know this (cause I rarely am around Grant Park), but the city shuts down Grant Park and some of the surrounding roads for over two weeks. What? Listen Lollapalooza, I want to make something really clear here. I don’t like Eminem. I don’t care about Foo Fighters or any other alt-rock jammin’ their not-ready-for-radio singles. All I care about is taking Jackson to Lake Shore. Seriously. It’s the summer in Chicago and I believe that Grant Park should be open as much as possible. That’s why we have it. Imagine if you played in a softball league at Hutchinson? Does that mean you can’t play games for 2-3 weeks? What’s up? This issue has my attention now. What do you think? Am I being too grandpa about this?

B story: President Obama is in town today celebrating his 50th birthday. He is throwing a fundraiser at the Aragon for his campaign/birthday. Great idea. I’m stealing this idea for my birthday. I get some crappy bands and charge $50. It all goes to my campaign. A campaign for a richer life. 

C story: What do I like about August? Runners. There are a million amateur runners all over Chicago sidewalks getting ready for marathon season. I’m cool with it, just don’t judge me for walking, OK? I called my alderman about it, Alderman Ed Bus (53rd). Bus explained, “Yeah, I hate these runners. Rahm should build a domed track in Jackson Park so they all can run in one place. I’m sick of getting my shoulders bumped into when they fly past. Whatever happened to brisk walkin’? You get your sneakers on and you take the lady out with ya, and you walk semi-fast till you don’t want to anymore. Wait, who is this?”

Weather: Let’s say that the world ends in one massive lightning strike. But there are still remnants of society to start over and pick up again. My question: Do survivors still have financial responsibilities to existing mortgages and student loans? I think the banks should go on record so we don’t have a huge argument after the world ends. Let’s just all get on the same page.

Sports: Kukoc paid a woman for sex in Croatia? How did I miss this? $500 Euros, to be exact. This is a huge story that I just heard about. I guess it did make the papers and newscasts, but I felt like I was watching the papers this week and I didn’t see it. So the big question is, why is Toni paying for sex? He’s a three-time NBA champ! This barely makes our newspapers but the Croatian Sensation must be front and center on TMZ: Slovakia. The other question: When did Kuk turn into a Croatian Steven Baldwin?

Kicker: Bazer’s Yahoo! News post is still cracking me up. He calls it:

Top 4 Used Cars to Avoid Driving to One of the Top 5 Six-Figure Jobs That Don’t Require a Degree in One of the Top 10 Cities for the Next Decade as You Plan a Top 10 Amazing Animal Adventure and Think About the Top 8 Scary Health Risks in Your Own Backyard All the While Drinking One of the Top 6 Drinks That Shrink Your Belly