Julia Weiss imagines Anne Frank as if she was posthumously baptized by Mormons

Julia Weiss imagines Anne Frank as if she was posthumously baptized by Mormons

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(Flickr/John Keogh)

The media omnipresence of Mormon GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney has catapulted the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints back into the news.

The Mormon Church, however, hasn’t needed Romney’s help in getting attention—or criticism—of late, specifically over their much-commented upon practice of posthumously baptizing the dead. The practice has been mocked by the likes of sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, and recently, Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel asked Romney to speak out against the practice.

Allegations that beloved diarist and Holocaust victim Anne Frank was among those baptized posthumously did not help. The Mormon Church released a statement denying the charges, claiming that they were committed to no longer “accept[ing] the names of Holocaust victims for proxy baptism.”

Some might shy away from attempting to handle such events with humor, but comedian Julia Weiss — featured most recently on The Paper Machete telling this sad tale of celebrity divorce with a twist — isn’t most people.

In this satirical performance, Weiss reads a diary entry supposedly pulled from a notebook Anne Frank wrote in during the afterlife— after she has been posthumously baptized by Mormons. Read an excerpt or listen below:

“Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in so long. You see, I’ve spent the last few decades wallowing belly-deep in a sulfur lake in the murky, fiery pits of hell alongside my family, friends and bunches of other Jews. Oh, and guess who eternally suffered in the brimstone hut right next door to ours? Adolf Hitler!

And I thought sharing a room with a creepy dentist was bad.”

The Paper Machete is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It’s always at 3 p.m., it’s always on Saturday, and it’s always free. Get all your The Paper Machete Radio Magazine needs filled here, or download the podcast from iTunes here.