Like stealing from a baby: Stealing from the baby

Like stealing from a baby: Stealing from the baby

The baby and the bath products his mother generously lends him.

Babies! They’re not just for getting attention or trying to win money through beauty pageants anymore. Did you know that they are actually great sources of stuff that you can steal? More than once I have discovered second, adult uses for baby gear, and the best thing is, when you steal from a baby, what’s the baby going to do, call the police? Nope. Here are a few baby items I have co-opted for my own use:

Baby shampoo: When the baby was born a lot of nice people gave us a lot of baby shampoo. But I gave birth to a very small, bald baby with a small baby head. He is not going to go through all that shampoo anytime soon. So one day, when I ran out of soap, I grabbed a bottle of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo to use as a body wash. I’ve also used the stuff to clean my makeup brushes. The baby, meanwhile, is almost a year old and is just halfway through his second bottle of baby shampoo/body wash. I figure I have time to buy a replacement bottle before he notices.

Baby lotion: It’s just as good as adult lotion and it smells like a baby, which is more than I can say for the baby, who has a tendency to stink.

Baby wipes: Despite what Gawker says, these things are awesome. They just get the job done—and not just for private wiping. I have used baby wipes on the dog, on my feet, on my hands, on the floor. It’s like if some Good Samaritan was like, “Here, stop wasting time running a paper towel under a running faucet: I took care of it for you already.”

Sunscreen: I applied sunscreen for the first time to the baby the other day, squirting out the amount of sunscreen I am accustomed to applying. Did you know that babies don’t have a lot of skin, though? And that you can probably just keep them covered by the stroller? I think my husband and I are going to be dipping into that SPF-80 a lot this summer.

Baby food: We have a plethora of snacks to encourage the baby to practice picking up food and feeding himself, yet all he’s interested in, so far, is Cheerios. That’s fine. Did you know that in a pinch you can serve baby snacks as a cocktail hors d’oeuvre? I haven’t tried this yet but foods like Mum-Mums (made by a company called Hot-Kid, I feel compelled to point out) and Lil’ Crunchies (which taste like Pirate’s Booty) would be excellent served in an attractive bowl alongside a nice cold glass of wine.

I look forward to when he gets bigger and I can start stealing his clothes, too. If you have any creative ways you have used your kid’s stuff for your own use, please share.