The UK Telegraph published an article last week called “The 50 signs you are a grown-up.” I am slightly relieved to find that I don’t meet quite all of the criteria.

I’ve crossed off the ones I do meet. The others I have yet to accomplish. What about you? Which criteria do you fail to meet?

1. Having a mortgage

2. Mum and dad no longer make your financial decisions

3. Paying into a pension

4. Conducting a weekly food shop

5.Written a will

6. Having children (but I’m more than halfway there)

7. Budgeting every month

8. Being able to cook an evening meal from scratch

9. Getting married (but I want to give a shout-out to my single adult homies for whom this is nonsense.)

10. Having life insurance

11. Recycling

12. Having a savings account

13. Knowing what terms like “ISA” and “tracker” mean (Is this a British thing?)

14. Watching the news (Does reading it on your phone count?)

15. Owning a lawn mower (We barely have a lawn and the condo association pays someone to do it.)

16. Doing your own washing

17. Taking trips to the local tip (I don’t know what this is but I bet we do it.)

18. Planting flowers (Or buying them at the Jewel and hanging them in the yard)

19. Being able to bleed a radiator

20. Having a joint bank account (see #9)

21. Having a view on politics

22. Keeping track of interest rates (But we have refinanced our house three times so that must partially count.)

23. Finding a messy house annoying

24. Being able to change a light bulb

25. Owning a vacuum cleaner

26. Holding dinner parties

27. Listening to Radio 2 (If this is like NPR then, obvs, I’m all over it.)

28. Enjoying gardening (I call b.s. on this being a sign of adulthood.)

29. Spending weekend just ‘pottering’ (although I have a feeling this and having kids are mutually exclusive)

30. Mum starts asking you for advice (I don’t think this will ever happen, even if I live to be 200 years old)

31.Carrying spare shopping bags just in case (I keep some at my office, though.)

32. Like going round garden centres

33. Wearing coats on a night out

34. Going to bed before 11 p.m.

35. Making sure mum and dad are phoned at least once a week

36. Classing work as a career rather than a job (but depends on which job/career we’re talking about)

37. Repairing torn clothing rather than throwing it away (How about paying someone to do it?)

38. You iron (sparingly and begrugingly)

39. You wash up immediately after eating

40. Enjoy cooking (This applies to me, but, again, I think you can be the pinnacle of adulthood without enjoying cooking)

41. Buying a Sunday paper

42. Always going out with a sensible pair of shoes (I may be an adult but I’m not dead.)

43. You like receiving gift vouchers

44. Work keeps you awake at night (This is just a sign that you have a bad career/job.)

45. Filing post (What?)

46. Having a “best” crockery set (We just have one set that’s nice for all occasions.)

47. Being able to change a car tyre (I belong to AAA, though.)

48. Being sensible enough to remove make up off before bedtime

49. Being able to follow a receipt

50. Owning “best towels” as well as “everyday towels” (We instead own “everyday nice towels” as well as “towels for wiping off the wet dog and soaking up pee.”)