Alderman Ed Bus (my alter-ego) is running for mayor. This fictional alderman from the 53rd ward (also fictional) has picked up some steam as of late, and is holding a press conference at City Hall this Thursday at 10:30am. Seriously, is there better political theater than real political theater? You can show up if you want - because as taxpayers, we own City Hall. So that makes press conferences are free to the public. There is a metal detector, so don’t try to sneak in flasks.
Here’s the media release we sent out Monday:
For Immediate Release
Monday, February 7, 2011
Jack “The Flack” Wabash
Alderman Ed Bus Beats the Blizzard
Snow May Cancel 53rd Ward Alderman’s Press Conference But Not His Work Ethic
Due to the first blizzard in as many years, Alderman Ed Bus’ press conference originally scheduled for Wednesday was canceled. The press conference will be scheduled for 10:30 am Thursday February 10, 2011 at 10:30 am on the 2nd floor of Chicago City Hall 121 N La Salle St Chicago, IL.
The Aldermen is proud to announce that he is the only Mayoral candidate who can shovel snow at a rate of 3½ blocks a hour. No other candidate can match Alderman Bus’ speed at clearing snow. See The Alderman in action http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOK0SBBwpHQ
“In my years of public service a few flakes have stood in the way of my progress, but never a snow flake,” said The Alderman. “With the Ed Bus Tumblers leading the way we have cleared the sidewalks right down to the cracks I personally chalked and duct taped last summer.
“Of all my ethics that have been questioned, not once has my work ethics been called on the carpet.” added The Alderman. “and I have more ethics than any other candidate currently or previously running for the fifth floor or the Mayor’s office.”
At the press conference next week, Alderman Ed Bus, Chicago’s Mayoral Candidate for Chicago, will answer a couple of questions on a few subjects. He hopes that this transparent process will satisfy the jackals among our esteemed media esprit de corps.
The Alderman’s Press Secretary, Media Consultant and Racetrack Advisor Jack “The Flack” Wabash is willing to work with certain members of the fifth estate who are willing to work with him, so please fax your 8 x 10 publicity photo to ensure your spot blocking the other cameras.