Terry Mazany come on down! You’re the next contestant to “FIX OUR SCHOOLS!!!!”

Terry Mazany come on down! You’re the next contestant to “FIX OUR SCHOOLS!!!!”

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Top story: Terry Mazany, you are the next contestant to “FIX THESE SCHOOLS!!!!” (audience applause, soft rock plays, Mazany pumps fists).

(Photoshop wizard/Anthony Abraham)

Terry Mazany will take over for Ron Huberman as the interim CEO of the Chicago Public Schools. Mazany is the head of the Chicago Community Trust, which is a foundation that gives support to non-profits (including WBEZ). The Trust spent a lot of time and resources on education initiatives, so Mazany is already ahead of his predecessor, who’s only experience in education was knowing how to fire bus drivers. Mazany took a salary of $1 from the city while retaining his Chicago Community Trust job. Terry, please tell me you at least got points on the back-end for merch. Or at least rights to the script. Terry, tell me you didn’t just give it all away??!!!!

I don’t want to rub it in, but I could have got you six figures, plus your old salary, and 20% off on all pencils/paper purchases. But what’s done is done. Good luck Terry. Did you know Mazany is trained in counting rings on trees? CPS is going to kill at the science fairs!

B story: Did you know that the controversial energy-alcohol drink company Four Loko is based out of Chicago? I wonder why it didn’t make the articles and talking points about our awesome list of bourgeoning, young hot-shot companies. Will the new press release read: “Chicago is home to great start-ups like Threadless, Group-On,Vosge chocolates, Four Loko…”

Four Loko is infamous for the energy drink that has alcohol levels that equal three beers and energy levels that equal two cups of coffee. It sent a bunch of kids to the hospital and the FDA is going to ban it. Four Loko responded with the “we are altering the ingredients to make it more safe.” Bull@$#. I would go with the “Hell yeah it’s not safe. As a matter of fact, we’re uppin it to six beers and four coffees. Why? Cause someone told us we couldn’t. EXTREME!!!!! ” Then I would break a window with my forehead and jump out of it and wrestle some snakes.

You’re welcome for that idea, Four Loko. Chicagoans have to stick together.

C story: Rumor has it Sound Opinions is going to talk about the new Kanye West record for this week’s episode. I’ve heard a few tunes and I am just blown away by the musical creativity. Kanye is this generation’s John Lennon. Discuss. That’s one of the perks of working here - I might sneak into the control room and listen to the Kanye review…

Weather: Now this is good weather. It’s supposed to get colder tomorrow. To quote my 3 year old: Darnit!

Sports: The Bulls and Blackhawks have embarked on their crazy annual road-trips. Why do they do this? Because the circus is in town. Literally - they have to leave for two weeks while Barnum & Bailey sets up at the United Center. We just take that as part of the story when talking about the dreaded “west-coast road trip” but someone should investigate how the circus has so much clout it can displace two professional sports franchises from their home stadium during a regular season. I’m all about one-offs and scheduling around the games, but full weeks?

Kicker: You want to make your own ginger-bread house and candy driveway for the holidays? Try and beat this woman: