News Headline: “Chicago confident it can handle NATO protesters.”
News Headline: “Pre-NATO situation under control: Chicago police.”
News Headline: “Police prepare with riot gear and sound cannon.”
News Headline: “Protesters brace for confrontations.”
Is everyone enjoying the Age of Aquarius so far?
News Headline: “NATO, SHMATO!”
But at least we have a dialogue started.
News Item: ”… At lunch at the White House with top leaders of the House and Senate, Obama emphasized that he expects a ‘serious bipartisan approach’ to… ."
If, at this point, the Senate minority leader, say, had done a spit-take, the comic bit would have been complete.
Mitt Romney, when asked Thursday about a comment he made in February on the Sean Hannity radio show:
“I stand by what I said, whatever it was.”
If Romney wins, these are the words that can be put in granite over the doorway of his presidential library.
The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Paraclete High School in Lansing, Calif., has named 22 valedictorians.
Asteroid 2012 KA was the second asteroid discovered this week just as it passed between Earth and the moon.
But there is nothing to be concerned about.
No. Really. Set your mind at ease.
Don’t give it a second thought.
News Item: ”… before hoisting the trophy on Saturday with the 1-0 victory… ."
News Item: ”… hoisting the trophy might bring the league a little much-deserved respect… ."
Jack Finarelli, a Falls Church, Va., reader, wants to know when “winning the tournament” became “hoisting the trophy,” and when can we have “winning the tournament” back?
News Headline: “Does Facebook turn people into narcissists?”
Of course not.
It only attracts them.
President Obama in recent public statements:
+ ”… it takes ordinary citizens to… ."
+ ”… ordinary people didn’t… ."
+ ”… of ordinary Americans… ."
+ ”… but ordinary people felt… ."
Well. At least he isn’t calling us garden variety.
Or run-of-the-mill… .
News Headline: “Beef industry searchers for solutions after ‘pink slime’ uproar.”
News Headline: “What if it weren’t called pink slime?”
Too late for that. It is irrevocably called pink slime.
The question now is: How do we get Americans to eat pink slime?”
Call it Artisan Pink Slime.
News Item: ”… that Obama’s grandfather wasn’t a furniture salesman but an undercover CIA agent who convinced Barack Obama Sr. to marry his teenage daughter to hide the fact that she was impregnated by a 55-year-old Communist named… ."
Good to see the Republican fringe finally setting aside its nutball Kenya conspiracy theory.
News Item: “Breitbart News has obtained a promotional booklet produced in 1991 by Barack Obama’s then-literary agency, Acton & Dystel, which touts Obama as ‘born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii.’ “
All right. OK. Could we please settle on one nutball conspiracy theory and move on?
News Headline: ”… in the wake of widespread looting… ."
News Headline: ”… a rampaging mob that… ."
It takes a village.
From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day 62 years ago, St. Louis Cardinals third baseman Tommy Glaviano made errors on three consecutive grounders in the bottom of the ninth, allowing the Brooklyn Dodgers a 9-8 victory. At least he could tell himself it wasn’t, you know, something people would remember into the next century or anything.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
From an Internet analysis of the opening moments of the “Star Wars” movies:
“The text scrolls upward into the distance… . Each title crawl ends with a four-dot ellipsis, except for Episode VI, which ends with a three-dot ellipsis… . “
The three-dot ellipsis (…) is for words taken out in the middle of a sentence.
The four-dot ellipsis (… .) is required when words are taken out at the end of sentence.
Which goes to show you that correct punctuation was nothing but trouble even a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… .
C.A., a Chicago reader, wants it said, by the way, that anyone who pronounces “erudite” with four syllables probably isn’t.
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
It can be reached at email@example.com