Christopher Piatt phones this one in – literally. He’s visiting his folks in Kansas. But The Paper Machete was in good hands with guest host Anderson Lawfer, who’s so well equipped to host the show, he had Tom Hickey read his bio. Did you know Lawfer was named best kept and hottest secret, in every magazine? Now you do. In ‘This Week in History,’ Dan Granata teaches us about the 1812 death of Native American captive William Wells. Because times are tough, Chloe Ditzel offers tips to picking up sugar daddies at the East Bank Club. Dyan Flores talks about the new line of clothing inspired by Mad Men at Banana Republic. Finally, some tunes from Glad Fanny, also known as Tiffany Topol, also known as Christopher Piatt’s neighbor. As usual, if you can hear us, this magazine is LIVE. Download it here, or listen below.

Christopher is still in Kansas next week, so Steve Waltien of iO and Shakespeare will be at the helm for the live show. The show is at the Horsehoe, 4115 N Lincoln. Show starts at 3 p.m., doors open at 2 p.m. It is, as always, free. On deck is Robyn Okrant of Living Oprah, writer Jeremy Owens, James Fritz who was named Chicago Reader’s Best Stand-up in 2011, writer Dennis O’Toole, Mary Fons of the Neo-Futurists and Paul Whitehouse the Expert Expat.