This is a popular women’s blog topic that has always fascinated me. The things the average woman carries around in her purse says a lot about her. I tend to carry a gigantic tote bag with me that doubles as a black hole, so I figured I’d bare myself to the world and let you peek inside my purse to see what are “my essentials.” Don’t judge me! I haven’t cleaned it out in awhile.
1. A witch
2. A cup from The Iowa Initiative to Reduce Unintended Pregnancies (gotta stay hydrated!)
3. A sexy math-pun-based thong
4. A candle (in case of a blackout)
5. A Harold Baines folder (my method for keeping track of all my Harold-Baines related paperwork)
6. A microplane, because I’m on this new diet where everything I eat needs to be zested
7. A female cat’s Christmas outfit (my husband jokes I should buy these in bulk for how quickly I go through them)
8. A spider
9. “The Greatest American Hero” box set, The “Star Wars” Christmas Special and “MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate,” in case I’m ever stuck in line or on the bus and need entertainment!
10. A placeholder and kissing pig cake topper from a pig wedding Steve and I went to a few weeks ago.
11. Mustache paper clips, for my disorganized hipster friends (you know who you are!)
12. A scorpion encased in plastic, for when I want to save my table at Starbucks while I go to the bathroom
13. A DVD that teaches babies sign language, in case I meet a baby and we aren’t able to communicate with each other
14. Hand lotion
15. A 20-lb weight. I forgot that was in there!
16. Bacon soap. I swear by it!
17. Barley and quinoa, in case I get hungry
18. Owl (came with the witch)