News Headline: “Why no Wall Street prosecutions?”
News Headline: “Obama and the Dems in bed with Wall Street?”
No, no, no, no.
We have to get this straight.
It is the Republicans who are in bed with Wall Street.
The Democrats like to curl up at the foot of the bed.

…

News Item: “Dr. Seuss’ ‘Yertle the Turtle’ has been deemed too political for a Canada school district… ."
This is the passage that caused an elementary school to ban the story:

I know, up on top you are seeing great sights,
But down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.

Good catch.
Now we know Dr. Seuss had a hidden radical socialist agenda.
What do you think his other stories might have been hiding?

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News Headline: “Physicists show standard ‘quasiparticle’ theory breaks down at quantum critical point.”
Tell us something we don’t know.

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News Item: “Indiana Sen. Richard Lugar was routed by the right flank of his own Repubican Party Tuesday night… a voting record seen as too liberal for many Hoosiers…”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
Hoosier n. 1. A native or inhabitant of Indiana. 2. Many of whom seem to think that Richard Lugar is a liberal. 3. So watch out for at least some of these people. 4. No. Really. Take care when approaching them [see: wise, word to the].

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We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
Officials have told organizers of a community street party in Petersfield, England, that they will not be allowed to put up any bunting unless they prepare a formal risk assessment and take a government safety course on how to climb a ladder.

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News Item: ”… was froth with difficulties… ."
News Item: ”… can be froth with risks… ."
News Item: ”… often froth with danger… ."
There are some people you don’t want to see preparing your cappuccino.

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News Headline: “Debt crisis causes more education spending cuts.”
Some problems solve themselves.
If we keep cutting back on education, the next generation will be too dense to notice any debts.

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Lou Ritten, a LaGrange Park reader, writes:
“Good to have you back, QT. All those tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists have missed you.”
Now that you mention it, there are currently 1,150 Google hits for “tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists.”
For those keeping track.

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News Headline: “Shaquille O’Neal to receive doctorate degree.”
Good for him. This is quite an accomplishment.
It helps, also, that he is one of the few remaining Americans who can afford to go to college.

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ The federal government has a smaller workforce today than it did in 1962.
+ France is four times the size of England.

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News Headline: “Obese drivers are less likely to buckle up: study.”
Are we running out of things to study?

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QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to
send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) Update:
New research indicates that the Yellowstone Caldera may erupt more frequently than previously thought—but that some of the eruptions may be less powerful than others.
Eruptions, in fact, may at times be small enough to put out as little as 85 cubic miles of ash.
This is only about 325 times the size of the eruption of Mount St. Helens.
So we can relax.

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From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 3,469 years ago the army of Pharaoh Thutmose III defeated the army of King Kurusha of Kadesh at the Battle of Megiddo, which seemed important at the time.

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
+ Katherine Rylaarsdam, a Baltimore reader, writes:
“Free rein. Not free reign.”
 And as long as we are on the subject of horses, it is “champ at the bit,” not “chomp at the bit.”
 Creme de menthe is pronounced krem-de-MAHNT, by the way.
 As long as we are on the subject of liquor.
 Which we are now.
+ J.S., an Evanston reader, writes:
“Great to have you back in the saddle. Or should that be ‘on the saddle.’?”
It is “back in the saddle.”
And we seem to back to horses again.
Daiquiri is pronounce DIE-kur-ee, by the way.
There. That’s better.

QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
It can be reached at  qt@wbez.org