To boldly go. . . .
News Headline: "Life on Mars? Successful Mars landing enables search to begin."
Let' see. Transcontinental railroad, national park system, Panama Canal, Social Security, rural electrification, D-Day, G.I. Bill, interstate highway system, moon landing. . . .
. . . and now at the verge of what might be history's greatest discovery.
Had enough of big government stepping all over us?
So has QT.
News Headline: "What is Romney hiding on tax returns?"
News Headline: "Romney horse makes hay at the Olympics."
K.R., a Baltimore reader, regarding QT's suggestion that the Republicans might consider switching to the horse, writes:
"Unfortunately, it's not old enough."
No. Rafalca is 15 years old.
That is about 50 years old in horse years.
But whoa, as it were.
Rafalca was born in Germany.
You are saddled with what you are saddled with.
News Headline: "Mosque in Missouri burns to ground one month after first arson attack."
Look. We have to keep these Muslims in line, don't we?
Otherwise, who knows what they'll do?
They might burn down our churches or something.
News Item: ". . . good knowledge of the strike zone and outstanding pitch recognition skills. . . ."
When did a good eye become good knowledge of the strike zone and outstanding pitch recognition skills, and when can we have a good eye back?
And Karl Weiszhaar, a Denver reader, wonders when police and firefighters became first responders, and when can we have police and firefighters back?
And. . . .
News Headline: "After 24 years, Limbaugh's influence continues to grow."
How to explain Rush Limbaugh's continued success?
There's a Dittohead born every minute.
News Headline: "Obama the socialist?"
News Headline: "Is Obama a radical?"
OK. Let's think.
The federal government is the smallest it's been in a half century, the Patriot Act has been renewed, gun controls are fewer than they were four years ago, we have a health-care plan first proposed by a conservative think tank, Wall Street remains free of criminal prosecutions, new environmental standards have been delayed. . . .
President Obama is a Republican.
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The National Health Service in Manchester, England, has banned metal paper clips from its offices because it is possible to cut a finger on one, ordering that the paper clips be "carefully disposed of immediately."
The posting included a picture of a paper clip to avoid any confusion.
News Headline: "Mitt Romney's tax problem: Oh what a tangled web he weaves."
You will recall the full quotation:
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive!"
But a warning to Democrats:
Practice makes perfect.
Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, regarding QT's' taking issue with the description of Iowa as a state of I-diots O-ut W-andering A-bout, writes:
"Given that you are least part Hawkeye, I will not suggest I O-we the W-orld an A-pology."
What's the best thing out of Iowa?
QT is only part Hawkeye, understand.
QT Early Warning System:
Fifty-four days remain until National Sarcastics Awareness Month.
And aren't we are all excited about that?
QT Vote Count Countdown Update:
+ "Is TV news polarizing America?"
+ "Would Mitt Romney raise taxes on 95 percent of Americans?"
+ "Clinton to star at the DNC: Is Obama desperate?"
+ "Do female pols struggle more than men?"
+ "Is Romney 'pandering' to Israel?
+ "Does Obama have the edge in foreign policy?"
+ "Does Tea Party support tax dodgers?"
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
QT tries to keep a positive attitude.
QT News You Can Use:
The Rapture Index at www.raptureready.com, which measures the progression of end-time prophecy according to world events, has reached a record high of 184.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Rudy Giuliani voted for George McGovern in 1972.
+ Parts of Nevada are west of Los Angeles.
QT Worldwide Man-Bites-Dog Pinpoint Locator:
As of the thirty-sixth dog day of summer, there have been no new reports of a man biting a dog.
But a cab driver robbed a passenger last week in San Francisco.
There are four dog days to go.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: ". . . Saudi Arabia's first-ever female athlete. . . ."
News Item: ". . . Lollapalooza's first-ever evacuation. . . ."
News Item: ". . . Vietnam's first-ever gay pride parade. . . ."
Hey. There's a first-ever time for all of everything.
Write to QT at email@example.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.