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England vs. Germany: Preview and prognosis

Who the hell is Wayne Rooney? They say he is a superstar, but I am incredulous. Tomorrow, I may find out for sure. With England and Germany, there is loads of history, many missed penalty kicks, that funny bounce, tears, and, of course, that pesky war that we apparently cannot talk about. Each time these two teams play, history weighs on them, as do the stakes. Somehow, aside from that one 1966 match, Germany always wins. None of that seems to matter this time. It took some effort for me to figure out why, but now I know. It is because this time, both of these teams suck. That's right, these are no proud scions of the Lineker and Beckenbauer lineage. These are timid children of the inglorious age of mediocrity. These two teams came out of the first round with only one victory apiece. England scored only twice. Germany lost to Serbia, and Serbia isn't even good! Ouch. Still, even without the weight of history, Germany looks like the winner. Their Klose-to-Podolski pattern is becoming predictable, and Schweinsteiger is likely out for tomorrow's game, but that's more than what England has. On the other hand, what England does have, is an ineffectual, frustrated superstar - an ace in the hole. So, here is the deal. England can win, but only if Rooney scores. Can we count on Rooney to score? Well, if we didn't count on the unbelievable to happen, why would we even bother watching sports? Prognosis: England in 7.

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