Everybody’s a critic

Everybody’s a critic
Everybody’s a critic

Everybody’s a critic

News Headline: “Brain survives 2,600 years in bog.”
Funny. QT feels the same way after an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

News Headline: “Florida first state to surpass one million concealed-weapon permits.”
News Headline: “Colorado college students allowed guns on campus.”
These Second Amendment steps are overdue.
We haven’t had a mass murder in more than two weeks.

News Item: Republican TV ad says President Obama took too much credit for Osama bin Laden’s death.
Exactly right.
Who can forget the sight of him prancing around on that aircraft carrier?

The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:
A woman who burned her buttocks when she sat on a black marble bench on a 100-degree day outside a Texas stadium is suing because the stadium failed to warn people that they might burn their buttocks if they sat on a black marble bench on a 100-degree day.

News Headline: “Obama rejects more freedom of information requests than Bush.”
News Headline: “Obama’s war on whistleblowers.”
News Headline: “Obama administration struggles to live up to its transparency promise.”
Add struggling to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.

Mitt Romney regarding his planned Medicare changes:
“Our plan is, for people 55 years of age and older, there’s no change.”
Older people were worried for nothing.
None of them will have to suffer the consequences of any of Romney’s improvements.

News Headline: “Police department wants blimp to spy on ‘suspicious activity.’ “
No one will suspect a thing.

QT Summer Travel Advisory:
Scientists estimate that you have seven summers left to schedule a trip to Glacier National Park before the last few glaciers are gone.

News Headline: “GOP consultant: Koch brothers bought Ryan’s VP nomination with $100 million promise.”
Is it QT’s imagination, or does $100 million not go as far as it used to?

QT’s Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls:
+ When a man bows to kiss a woman’s hand, he should not kiss the hand, but the air above the hand.
+ The proper closing of a letter to the pope is: “Prostrate at the feet of Your Holiness and imploring the favor of its apostolic benediction, I have the honor to be, Very Holy Father, with the deepest veneration of Your Holiness, the most humble and most obedient servant and son (daughter).”
Which is why the pope gets so few postcards.

News Headline: “Rick Santorum claims saying ‘Y’all’ is divisive.”
News Headline: “Missouri Republican says ‘legitimate rape’ rarely causes pregnancy.”
Seventy-eight days, and this will all be over.
But then the next one will start.

Lest We Forget that the Dark Ages Were a Faith-Based Initiative:
Kentucky Republican state lawmakers are demanding changes in standardized high school science tests that require students to have an understanding of biological evolution.

News Headline: “Conservative group blames shooting on ‘reckless rhetoric.’ “
News Headline: “McDonald’s blames economy for weak July sales.”
News Headline: “Ryan blames Obama for ‘partisan atmosphere.’ “
News Headline: “Obama blames GOP for deficit.”
News Headline: “Woman blames Xanax after mowing down ex.”
In other news, the White House cited emergency shortages as it tapped into nation’s strategic scapegoat reserves.

News Headline: “Ann Romney proudly owns stay-at-home mom image.”
News Headline: “Ann Romney on her youth: ‘I really was a tomboy.’ “
What do think Mitt Romney is hiding in those tax returns, anyway?

From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 27 years ago the original Xerox 914 was presented to the Smithsonian Institution.

From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 27 years ago the original Xerox 914 was presented to the Smithsonian Institution. and you saw this coming, didn’t you.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
S.W., a Kendall, Wis., reader wants you to know that it is impossible to peruse something quickly.
Same goes for “scan.”
Both mean to read or examine with great care.
QT draws here on its favorite dictionary, the American Heritage, which its younger son, when three years old, drew on, also.
And an attempt to Xerox this point one more time: It is Smithsonian Institution, not Smithsonian Institute.

Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.