Irby + Ian dole out the highs and lows of a year in James Franco

Irby + Ian dole out the highs and lows of a year in James Franco
Franco speaking at an event in November 2011. Flickr/Tara Giancaspro
Irby + Ian dole out the highs and lows of a year in James Franco
Franco speaking at an event in November 2011. Flickr/Tara Giancaspro

Irby + Ian dole out the highs and lows of a year in James Franco

Franco speaking at an event in November. (Flickr/Tara Giancaspro)
This “unholy union” of writers, the duo behind the new blog Irby + Ian, Samantha Irby and Ian Belknap definitely do not fall on the same side of the “is James Franco legitimate?” argument. Read an excerpt of their thoughts below:

Irby: Well, it certainly has been a huge year for movie and TV star, performance artist, painter, author, model, provocateur, James Franco. Hasn’t it, Ian?

Ian: Well if you mean it’s been a big year for a billionaire dilettante a**hole to continue swindling a gullible public on a series of half-baked past times, and cementing his status as the perfect slackjawed and self-congratulatory embodiment of everything wrong with this once-great nation, then yeah! It has been a banner year.

Irby: Jealous…January 7th. James Franco told the Los Angeles Times, ‘I might just be gay.’ Which was surprising to me, considering that the fan letters I sent to his home on a weekly basis stressed just how much and how ferociously I would make love to him if ever presented with the opportunity.

When confronted with a question about his sexuality, based on his affinity for playing gay characters, rather than offer up an insulted denial, this hot piece of a** said that he accepted those roles because — and I quote — ‘I might just be gay.’ A million and a half boners all popped at the same time. And one poor little heart broke.

Ian: January 31. Franco announces he’ll be teaching a course called Editing James Franco, with James Franco at Columbia College Hollywood. if there is any more effective means of announcing what a total d***hole you are, i cna’t imagine what it could possibly be.

Irby: Again, jealousy…

Tune back in to the Machete in January, where there will be journalists, comedians and storytellers talking about current events, pop cultures, and American manners.

The Paper Machete is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It’s always at 3 p.m., it’s always on Saturday, and it’s always free. Get all your The Paper Machete Radio Magazine needs filled here, or download the podcast from iTunes here.