Yes. Next time I’m voting for C.
Top story: It’s over. It’s through. John Garrido will not go with a recount in the race for 45th ward alderman. After counting absentee ballots, John Arena leads Garrido by under 30 votes. That’s right. Under 30. So why not recount? Because according to Chicago Magazine, it would cost Garrido $25k to challenge. And that’s just too much money. My two cents? How refreshing. I’m sorry you lost in a close race, but it’s nice to use the word “thrifty” in politics again.
B story: Rich Miller had this great nugget a few days ago in his subscription-only area of Capitol Fax, but since you probably don’t subscribe there, I’ll give you the tidbit. Apparently when State Senator Ira Silverstein went to open his wife’s campaign office the morning after their victory over longtime 50th Ward Alderman Berny Stone, he couldn’t get the lock to open. Why? Because someone shoved toothpicks into the lock and busted it. The Silverstein’s had to pay a locksmith to come fix the lock.
So let this be a lesson to all: Don’t beat Berny Stone. Because someone will break your lock with toothpicks.
C story: Our Opening Day video featuring Henneman has gone viral, which means that I get a lot of random e-mails from high school friends. “Dude! I saw you on the internet today!”
The video has over 200k pageviews and isn’t stopping anytime soon. It actually got posted today on Tosh.0. No word yet if the video will be featured on the actual Comedy Central show. But the blog post that features it sums up the argument about whether or not it is real or fake. Who cares. It’s funny regardless.
D story: Felony Franks, the hot dog stand on the West Side that hires ex-cons, is under fire for well, being called Felony Franks. Some community leaders and aldermen don’t like the idea of making light of criminal behavior. This has been going on for a while now, and the hearing yesterday at City Council was just about removing the signage or banning the name Felony Franks. Alderman Beale seemed to be the only one who made sense, saying “If we try to remove it, we’ll get sued. And the city of Chicago will lose.” I say we embrace Felony Franks and even see if we can get Rick Steves over there for a new “Chicago by Rick Steves” book.
Weather: Keep it nice. It was so hot and sunny on Sunday morning, I burned my head. My bald head is pink now, thanks to that deceptive April sun.
Sports: Which is the better slogan for the Blackhawks’ playoff run? “We’re back in!” or “We backed in!”
The Blackhawks start their quest to defend their Stanley Cup Championship tomorrow in Vancouver. Vancouver is becoming the new Hawks rival. Last year, people pegged the Canucks to give the Hawks trouble, but it didn’t happen. And the year before, the Hawks stunned Vancouver, bouncing them from the playoffs. These two teams are chippy, too. They just don’t like each other (what’s to like about twins, anyway). Should be a fun matchup.
I wonder if Turco will bet Vancouver fans while bored on the bench? And I thought writing on currency was a federal offense.
Kicker: When the Bulls head to the playoffs to defend their home court, now might be the time to upgrade their CG/video intro. Don’t get me wrong, you gotta love the Bulls running over stuff en route to the UC, but it is the playoffs and we do need something to whip the fans into a frenzy, thus capitalizing on our home court advantage. Might I suggest taking a page from the Alaska University hockey team? Real simple pitch: CG Polar Bear starts by breaking up some ice, destroys a ship with a hockey stick, gets in a jet, blows up the world, goes through a time/space portal, returns to the ice, blows up some other stuff and boom, introduce the starting lineups. You’re welcome, Bulls marketing and management: