“So much of our day-to-day lives are about defusing or deescalating situations with men that could turn violent or frightening,” says Natasha Trethewey. “If I couldn’t tell a story about my life and what it’s led to, I could have been overtaken by despair.”

We also talk about TikTok and what a Microsoft purchase of the app (or a nationwide ban of it) means for American users.

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If you’re in a dangerous situation at home, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And if you feel unsafe to speak, you can reach out to them by texting LOVE IS to 22522.