Good afternoon! My nephews refuse to bring me a slice of pizza from their school because they say it’s “illegal.” Here’s what you need to know today.

1. ShotSpotter has little impact on gun violence and costs too much, prosecutors say

The controversial gunshot-detection system led to arrests in just 1% of more than 12,000 incidents over a roughly five-year span, according to a review by the Cook County state’s attorney’s office.

Or to put it another way, only 2,543 of 160,400 alerts from ShotSpotter resulted in an arrest between August 2018 and August 2023, my colleagues Tom Schuba and Matthew Hendrickson report.

“Based on the city’s roughly $49 million contract with ShotSpotter, the cost per each arrest was valued at $14,837.96, with the value increasing for more serious arrests and convictions,” my colleagues write. “Each conviction in the most serious cases cost $714,736.83, the review shows.”

The review comes as Mayor Brandon Johnson decides whether to renew the ShotSpotter deal he once vowed to end. [Chicago Sun-Times]

At a public forum on the South Side last night, residents were divided on whether Johnson should stick with the technology. [Chicago Sun-Times]

2. Should terminally ill patients in Illinois have the right to die?

Illinois could become the 11th state to legalize the “right to die” under legislation pushed by Democrats in Springfield, my colleague Tina Sfondeles reports.

The proposal would allow some terminally ill patients to self-administer a medication to end their lives. In order to qualify, patients must have a prognosis of six months or less.

Patients would also have to give two verbal requests — with a five-day waiting period in between — as well as a written request.

Deb Robertson, a Lombard woman who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in 2020, is advocating for the measure — and said she would choose to end her life with medication if the law passes.

“I don’t want to suffer. I don’t want to be laying in a bed. I don’t want to have my family being sad and upset and seeing me deteriorate and then be in pain,” Robertson said. [Chicago Sun-Times]

3. People inside Cook County Jail plotted to commit PPP fraud and other financial crimes, authorities say

Recorded conversations show dozens of Cook County Jail inmates schemed to defraud the federal Paycheck Protection Program and other government COVID-19 relief programs at the start of the pandemic, according to documents obtained by my colleague Frank Main.

County authorities opened an investigation in 2020 into inmates using jail phones to discuss various kinds of financial fraud and found they were targeting state coronavirus unemployment insurance programs, federal business relief programs and personal bank accounts.

But despite months of plotting, none of the inmates was arrested or charged with fraud in connection with the schemes, according to Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart’s office.

A spokesman for Dart said the FBI and the U.S. attorney’s office were contacted in 2020. The FBI said it would not “comment on the nature, existence or nonexistence of any investigation that may be occurring.” [Chicago Sun-Times]

4. Mayor Brandon Johnson’s sprint to remake Chicago’s public schools

Mayor Brandon Johnson represents the progressive education movement’s first chance to follow through on demands to boost funding for neighborhood schools and other policy changes.

But the clock is ticking, my colleagues Nader Issa and Sarah Karp report.

In January, the city’s first elected school board — which Johnson and the Chicago Teachers Union lobbied to create — will take control of public schools, distancing the mayor from influence.

And Johnson’s push to remake Chicago Public Schools comes as the school district faces a nearly $400 million structural deficit.

Joe Ferguson, president of the taxpayer watchdog Civic Federation and former city inspector general, said too many major changes risks saddling the new school board with “obligations and commitments that would crush it coming out of the gate.” [WBEZ]

5. The most celebrated team in Chicago sports history picked up another victory

Steve McMichael, the legendary defensive tackle of the 1985 Bears, was announced this week as part of the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s upcoming induction class.

“For Steve to be in the Hall of Fame, it means that we’re together again in a place that no one can take away from him,” linebacker Mike Singletary told the Chicago Sun-Times. “In the football world, he’s finally home.”

McMichael’s selection had been eagerly anticipated by the Bears amid his battle with ALS, and his wife, Misty, had pushed relentlessly for his candidacy, my colleague Jason Lieser reports.

“He would say, ‘Thank you, Chicago,’ ” Misty said. “You guys have been so supportive for all these years.

“It’s bittersweet because of the situation he’s in. I wish he could be here himself.” [Chicago Sun-Times]

Here’s what else is happening

• Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ordered the evacuation of a densely packed Gaza city ahead of expected invasion. [AP]

• Research that is at the heart of a federal case against the abortion pill has been retracted. [NPR]

• Actor Jonathan Majors was accused of abuse by two more women. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Here’s a look back at the 1940 exposition in Chicago that showcased Black art and innovation. [WBEZ]

Oh, and one more thing …

A 25-year-old attorney recently decided to buy a $275 ashtray online from Saks Fifth Avenue.

But when her order arrived, the sleek package contained a can of tuna fish, The New York Times reports.

The attorney, Bailey Cormier, decided to chronicle what she calls “tuna-gate” on TikTok, where many videos highlight growing frustrations with return fraud.

What likely happened to Cormier is this: Someone else previously bought the ashtray, pocketed it and then returned the packaging with a different item inside, in this case a can of tuna.

“I don’t even smoke,” she told the Times. “I just put my jewelry in it.” [New York Times]

Tell me something good …

Valentine’s Day is coming up. And that’s got me thinking: What do you love about the Chicago area?

Renee writes:

“Chicago’s array of cultural events is astounding! And not just the grand venues like the CSO, the opera and the large museums. It’s the variety of theater at small, local venues, the tiny specialized museums, the vast number of musical events by well-known performers and start-ups. It’s hard to keep on top of them all.”

Thanks for all the emails this week. It was nice hearing from y’all!